Friday, March 10, 2017

智慧的16种共同特征

马斯洛:世上只有1%的人能达到的智慧境界,他们有16种共同特征

美国心理学大师马斯洛在研究了许多历史上伟人共同的人格特质之后,更详细地描绘出“自我实现者”(成长者)的画像。自我实现者有下列16个特色:

1.他们的判断力超乎常人,对事情观察得很透彻,只根据现在所发生的一些事,常常就能够正确地预测将来事情会如何演变。

2.他们能够接纳自己、接纳别人,也能接受所处的环境。无论在顺境或逆境之中,他们能安之若命,处之泰然。虽然他们不见得喜欢现状,但他们会先接受这个不完美的现实(不会抱怨为何只有半杯水),然后负起责任改善现状。

3.他们单纯、自然而无伪。他们对名利没有强烈的需求,因而不会戴上面具,企图讨好别人。有一句话说:“伟大的人永远是单纯的。”我相信,伟人的脑子里满有智慧,但常保一颗单纯善良的心。

4.他们对人生怀有使命感,因而常把精力用来解决与众人有关的问题。他们也较不以自我为中心,不会单顾自己的事。

5.他们享受独居的喜悦,也能享受群居的快乐。他们喜欢有独处的时间来面对自己、充实自己。

6.他们不依靠别人满足自己安全感的需要。他们像是个满溢的福杯,喜乐有余,常常愿意与人分享自己,却不太需要向别人收取什么。

7.他们懂得欣赏简单的事物,能从一粒细砂想见天堂,他们像天真好奇的小孩一般,能不断地从最平常的生活经验中找到新的乐趣,从平凡之中领略人生的美。

8.他们当中有许多人曾经历过“天人合一”的宗教经验。

9.虽然看到人类有很多丑陋的劣根性,他们却仍满有悲天悯人之心、民胞物与之爱,能从丑陋之中看到别人善良可爱的一面。

10.他们的朋友或许不是很多,然而所建立的关系,却比常人深入。他们可能有许多淡如水的君子之交,素未谋面,却彼此心仪,灵犀相通。

11.他们比较民主,懂得尊重不同阶层、不同种族、不同背景的人,以平等和爱心相待。

12.他们有智慧明辨是非,不会像一般人用绝对二分法(“不是好就是坏”或“黑人都是懒惰鬼”)分类判断。

13.他们说话含有哲理,也常有诙而不谑的幽默。

14.他们心思单纯,像天真的小孩,极具创造性。他们真情流露,欢乐时高歌,悲伤时落泪,与那些情感麻木,喜好“权术”、“控制”、“喜怒不形于色”的人截然不同。

15.他们的衣着、生活习惯、方式、处世为人的态度,看起来比较传统,保守,然而,他们的心态开明,在必要时能超越文化与传统的束缚。

16.他们也会犯一些天真的错误,当他们对真善美执著起来时,会对其他琐事心不在焉。例如爱迪生有一次做研究太过专心,竟然忘了自己是否吃过饭,朋友戏弄他,说他吃过了,他信以为真,拍拍肚皮,满足地回到实验室继续工作。

据马斯洛的估计,世上大概只有1%的人,最后能成长到上述这种“不惑”、“知天命”、“耳顺”、“随心所欲而不逾距”、圆融逍遥、充满智慧的人生境界。

我不敢期望每个人都能达到这个境界,然而我相信,当我们愈趋近这种境界时,我们的人生会愈有喜乐、愈有意义。

成长是必须付代价的,因为成长永远包含着冒险、面对未知、尝试新经验、扩展个人的极限与改变。若不必成长,我们就不用改变自己,不用面对未知的危险,更不用花心神面对生活的挑战,从各种选择中做出新的决定。

Abraham Maslow: 16 Traits of Mentally Healthy People (Self-Actualizers)

Abraham Maslow, unlike most psychologists, made it his business to study maximally psychologically healthy people.  (Needless to say, he didn't have much of a clinical practice!)  He felt that using behaviorism (based primarily on the study of animals, e.g. rats in mazes) or psychoanalysis (based primarily on the observations of mentally ill people in a clinical setting) to arrive at a general conception of human psychology is not likely to yield the most accurate conception.

Here is a summary of the 16 traits that Maslow felt were typically found among "self actualizers", his term for maximally psychologically healthy people.  It's somewhat amorphous, but interesting all the same.  Please feel free to examine it at your leisure:

16 Distinguishing Characteristics of Self-Actualizing People from the writings of Abraham Maslow

1. They are realistically oriented.
2. They accept themselves, other people, and the natural world for what they are.
3. They have a great deal of spontaneity.
4. They are problem-centered rather than self-centered.
5. They have an air of detachment and a need for privacy.
6. They are autonomous and independent.
7. Their appreciation of people and things is fresh rather than stereotyped.
8. Most of them have had profound mystical or spiritual experiences, although not necessarily religious in character.
9. They identify with mankind.
10. Their intimate relationships with a few specially loved people tend to be profound and deeply emotional rather than superficial.
11. Their values and attitudes are democratic.
12. They do not confuse means with ends.
13. Their sense of humor is philosophical rather than hostile.
14. They have a great fund of creativeness.
15. They resist conformity to the culture.
16. They transcend the environment rather than just coping with it.

Source: Theories of Personality, 3rd Edition, by Calvin S. Hall (Univ of Calif, Santa Cruz) and Gardner Lindzey (Stanford Univ), Copyright 1978 by John Wiley and Sons, Inc., pp. 266-275 (the list is on one of these pages!)

两种人

"我活了四十多年,我现在观察,人间就有两种人。第一种人他的世界里是三个词,叫立场、感受和意见。那第二种人他的世界里也是三个词叫目标、方法和行动。我四十岁开始创业,其实就为完成一件事,把我的思维方式从第一种,就是立场、感受和意见切换到第二种,就是目标、方法和行动。" - 罗振宇


Thursday, October 20, 2016

Happiness

“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less” — Socrates, lived in 450 BC.

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Value of Life

"There are those who think that life is valueless because it comes to an end. They fail to see that the opposite argument might also be proposed: that if there were no end to life, life would have no value; that it is, in part, the ever-present danger of losing it which helps to bring home to us the value of life" - Sir Karl Popper

Monday, July 11, 2016

Life

"We live in deeds, not years; in thoughts, not breaths; in feelings, not in figures on a dial. We should count time by heart throbs. He most lives who thinks most, feels the noblest, acts the best." - Aristotle

Tuesday, July 05, 2016

哪一条跑道?

“...设想一个跑道上,有人正在跑五千米,有人在拼百米冲刺,也有人在做清晨的散步。那跑五千米的人,看见那跑百米的人全身紧张、满面通红,心里会“颤抖”吗?不会的,因为他知道自己是跑五千米的。那清晨散步遛狗的人,看见那跑五千米的人气呼呼地追过来了,他会因而恐惧,觉得自己要被“淘汰”了吗?不会的,因为他知道自己是来散步的。

你真的“平庸”吗?其实要看你让自己站在哪一条跑道上。如果你决定做那清晨散步的人,怎么会有“平庸”的问题呢?会不会你的气定神闲,你的温和内敛,你的沉静谦逊,反而就是你最“杰出”的人格特质呢?...”

- 龙应台 “亲爱的安德烈”

平庸

"...我不记得了,也许那晚葡萄酒也喝多了。但是,我可以现在告诉你,如果你“平庸”,我是否“失望”。

  对我最重要的,安德烈,不是你有否成就,而是你是否快乐。而在现代的生活架构里,什么样的工作比较可能给你快乐?第一,它给你意义;第二,它给你时间。你的工作是你觉得有意义的,你的工作不绑架你使你成为工作的俘虏,容许你去充分体验生活,你就比较可能是快乐的。至于金钱和名声,哪里是快乐的核心元素呢?假定说,横在你眼前的选择是到华尔街做银行经理或者到动物园做照顾狮子河马的管理员,而你是一个喜欢动物研究的人,我就完全不认为银行经理比较有成就,或者狮子河马的管理员“平庸”。每天为钱的数字起伏而紧张而斗争,很可能不如每天给大象洗澡,给河马刷牙。

  当你的工作在你心目中有意义,你就有成就感。当你的工作给你时间,不剥夺你的生活,你就有尊严。成就感和尊严,给你快乐。

  我怕你变成画长颈鹿的提摩,不是因为他没钱没名,而是因为他找不到意义。我也要求你读书用功,不是因为我要你跟别人比成就,而是因为,我希望你将来会拥有选择的权利,选择有意义、有时间的工作,而不是被迫谋生。

  如果我们不是在跟别人比名比利,而只是在为自己找心灵安适之所在,那么连“平庸”这个词都不太有意义了。“平庸”是跟别人比,心灵的安适是跟自己比。我们最终极的负责对象,安德烈,千山万水走到最后,还是“自己”二字。因此,你当然更没有理由去跟你的上一代比,或者为了符合上一代对你的想象而活。..."

- 龙应台 “
亲爱的安德烈”

Wednesday, June 01, 2016

Life is about...


Thursday, May 26, 2016

我們曾如此期盼外界的認可,到最後才知道:世界是自己的,與他人毫無關係。

你也許不認識她。
她,就是著名的作家、翻譯家、外國文學研究家,文學大家錢鐘書先生的妻子——楊絳。
年前,她發表了一篇名位《一百歲感言》的文章。她,把在人間活了百年的感覺,簡單的用數百字呈現出來。楊絳說:「人生最曼妙的風景,竟是內心的淡定與從容……我們曾如此期盼外界的認可,到最後才知道:世界是自己的,與他人毫無關係。」

我們大部份人都在活在步伐急速的都市裡,每天都被大量外來的人和事所包圍,很容易便迷失方向,甚至失去了自己。 請不要等到一百歲時才審視自己的一生。由這一刻開始,請勇敢的走自己的路。

(全文来自网络)
====
〔文章轉載〕楊絳《一百歲感言》(2011)

我今年一百歲,已經走到了人生的邊緣,我無法確知自己還能走多遠,壽命是不由自主的,但我很清楚我快「回家」了。

我得洗凈這一百年沾染的污穢回家。 我沒有「登泰山而小天下」之感,只在自己的小天地裏過平靜的生活。細想至此,我心靜如水,我該平和地迎接每一天,準備回家。

在這物欲橫流的人世間,人生一世實在是夠苦。你存心做一個與世無爭的老實人吧,人家就利用你欺侮你。你稍有才德品貌,人家就嫉妒你排擠你。 你大度退讓,人家就侵犯你損害你。你要不與人爭,就得與世無求,同時還要維持實力準備鬥爭。你要和別人和平共處,就先得和他們週旋,還得準備隨時吃虧。

少年貪玩,青年迷戀愛情,壯年汲汲於成名成家,暮年自安於自欺欺人。 人壽幾何,頑鐵能煉成的精金,能有多少?但不同程度的鍛鍊,必有不同程度的成績;不同程度的縱欲放肆,必積下不同程度的頑劣。

上蒼不會讓所有幸福集中到某個人身上,得到愛情未必擁有金錢;擁有金錢未必得到快樂;得到快樂未必擁有健康;擁有健康未必一切都會如願以償。 保持知足常樂的心態才是淬煉心智,凈化心靈的最佳途徑。一切快樂的享受都屬於精神,這種快樂把忍受變為享受,是精神對於物質的勝利,這便是人生哲學。

一個人經過不同程度的鍛鍊,就獲得不同程度的修養、不同程度的效益。好比香料,搗得愈碎,磨得愈細,香得愈濃烈。

我們曾如此渴望命運的波瀾,到最後才發現:人生最曼妙的風景,竟是內心的淡定與從容……我們曾如此期盼外界的認可,到最後才知道:世界是自己的,與他人毫無關係。

Saturday, May 07, 2016

Twists and turns...

Life is always full of twists and turns, as often one door closed might open up another wider door, whereas a seemingly less desirable event could possibly lead to something interesting especially if one keeps searching and adjusts one’s perspective in order to make the best out of the new circumstance.

I arrived in Ljubljana on Friday evening with no plan nor expectation, hoping to just spend a relax weekends strolling in the city and get myself lost in small alleys and perhaps surprised by simple but unique things that the locals have to offer. In the hotel lobby I picked up a few brochures and noticed there are few interesting places which could be visited with a half day tour, one of them is Lake Bled. Unfortunately after several attempts to book a local tour at last minutes, I was told all tour groups were fully booked for the next day and apparently the only option was a private tour which cost 5-6 times of the standard price. When I was about to give up, a visit to the local tourism office reviewed that it is in fact possible to visit Lake Bled with local bus which cost less than half of the standard tour price.

When I was at the local bus station, the ticket officer convinced me to buy a combo package which includes return tickets, an entrance ticket to a castle which I have no clue how it looks like and where it actually located, and few other benefits. Only when I arrived at the lake side I was “shocked” by the height of the castle which is located on top of a hill. I was walking along the lakeside, occasionally thinking how silly I was without doing some simple research before purchase the combo ticket and now going to waste the money because I was in no appetite to walk up the hill just for a castle which I have already seen just too many. After couple of hours when I was about to catch the next bus returning to Ljubljana, I walked pass the entrance of the walking path lead to the castle and in split second I decided to give it a try anyhow. The walk up to the hill was not as tough as I have expected, within about 20-30 minutes I was already on the top and the view was simply splendid. The visit to the castle turns out to be the highlight of my short trip to Lake Bled, which I most probably would have never done if I didn’t have already purchased the ticket in Ljubljana bus station.

So that’s life, full of twists and turns and you never know what’s waiting for your at the next corner, so just keeps an open mind and get ready to be surprised…

My life, your life, his/her life…

My trip from Linz to Ljubljana (capital city of Slovenia) by train on last Friday afternoon had a small hiccup but nevertheless an interesting experience worth mentioning. When the train was near Austria border we were told part of the railway track got technical problem so all passengers have to get off the train on Villach city (Austria) train station, take a bus to cross the Austria - Slovenia border and then board a local Slovenian train in Jesenice (Slovenia) town train station to Ljubljana. The lady train conductor knew I don't speak a word of German nor Slovenian hence asked me to just follow a few Slovenian guys inside my wagon. The “transits” went smoothly, in fact one old Slovenian man occasionally check and nod at me to make sure I am “still around” and not lost in Austria - Ljubljana border...

Due to this unexpected episode, I got a chance to have a quick “free city tour” in Villach, and enjoyed slightly different scenery along the bus route. Inside the bus sitting next to me was a young and friendly Serbian engineer. When we were about to enter the Karawanks tunnel crossing the Alpine Karawanks mountain, he explained to me that the tunnel is 8km long and on the other side is Slovenia’s territory. After that we started to chat a bit, and he told me he is working in silicon industry and was on a business trip in Austria and now on his way to Ljubljana airport in order to catch a flight back to Belgrade (capital city of Serbia). I started to ask him about life in Serbia, and he joked about Yugoslavia (both Slovenia and Serbia were part of Yugoslavia before the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia collapsed in 1992, one year after Soviet Union collapsed in 1991), the civil war when he was a kid, the current standard of living and etc. He was very humble about Belgrade / Serbia and explained to me in term of development Belgrade / Serbia is perhaps only 40-50% of what Slovenia (the richest ex- Yugoslavia nation) is today, moreover Serbia is not even part of European Union…

Once we reached Jesenice town train station, one can easily noticed the significant drop in infrastructure standard in comparison to Western Europe. The fact is Europe is such a huge and diverse area consists of nearly 50 nations, although most of them are on the same continent sharing border but standard of living could be significantly different especially toward the eastern region. Countries like Czech Republic, Hungary, Slovakia and Slovenia are on the rapid development track since early 1990s, whereas countries like Serbia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, and Kosovo are perhaps trying hard to catch up. To some extend it is quite similar to North Asia / South East Asia, whereas you have first world nations like Singapore, Japan, South Korea, and the rising stars such as Malaysia, Indonesia, Philippine, Thailand, Vietnam, and country like Cambodia, Laos, Myanmar which are still trying hard to catch up….

I have visited quite many Western Europe countries in the past 15 years and was always amazed by their rich history, beautify scenery, extremely well protected environment, near perfect infrastructure, advance economy and social system, but there is always a sense of detachment as one cannot really comprehend how all those modern nations have miraclely reached such high level of modernization. However once I have learnt more and more about the economy and society of other Eastern European nations which are perhaps equally rich in culture and history many centuries ago, but due to various historical reasons and they are now still at various different developing stages…only then I can truly appreciate the diligent and determination that set some European nations apart from the rest…This really remind us there’s no free lunch in the World and one must not take things for granted….

Ultimately human beings regardless of race and culture all share the same challenges and dream in life.

Somewhere in this World,
my life, your life, his/her life…
30 April 2016

Thursday, March 17, 2016

思维定式

看透的人, 处处是生机; 看不透的人, 处处是困境.
拿得起的人, 处处是担当; 拿不起的人, 处处是疏忽.
放得下的人, 处处是大道; 放不下的人, 处处是迷途.
想得开的人, 处处是春天; 想不开的人, 处处是凋枯.
做什么样的人, 决定权在自己; 有什么样的生活, 决定权也在自己.


Sunday, January 17, 2016

春夏秋冬...

"春有百花秋有月,夏有凉风冬有雪,若无闲事挂心头,便是人间好时节。" 

~ 宋·无门和尚《颂》


Monday, September 28, 2015

为者常成

梁丘据谓晏子曰:“吾至死不及夫子矣!”晏子曰:“婴闻之,为者常成,行者常至。婴非有异于人也,常为而不置,常行而不休而已矣。” 

出处:《晏子春秋》

Saturday, September 26, 2015

成功

"所謂成功,不過是追尋自己想要的生活。既已追尋到了,就可安然自在。" - 王志鈞